========================= RELENTLESS A Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction By Grayson Towler ========================= ----------------------------------------------------------- CHAPTER FOUR: To Catch a Thief ----------------------------------------------------------- "RYOUGA!" Ranma-chan screamed as she watched P-Chan's diminutive form vanish into the undergrowth. "Oh no..." Ukyou gasped. Pantyhose Tarou beat his wings harder, accelerating away from the Reikoku as fast as he could. "Turn back!" Ranma-chan shouted. She scrambled up Tarou's broad back, past the cluster of folded tentacles, towards his head. "We gotta help him!" Tarou ignored her. It was too bad about the pig-boy - he wasn't nearly as bad as Saotome, in Tarou's opinion - but there was no way he was going to put himself on the line for someone like that. With that monster chasing down the piglet, they'd all have more time to get clear of the thing. Hibiki was on his own. "What're you doin'?" Ranma-chan demanded, thumping Tarou on the back of the head a couple of times to get his attention. "He's helpless like that! Turn around, damn it!" Tarou gave a warning swipe at Saotome with one of his tentacles and growled angrily. He'd be more than willing to drop another freeloader if fem-boy insisted on bugging him. Tarou was the one providing the transportation, and his decisions about where they'd fly were not open for debate. Ranma-chan had other ideas, though. She reached into her pack and produced the portable kettle which they'd heated up earlier. It still had plenty of hot water left in it. She held it up over Tarou's head threateningly. "Turn around NOW, or I swear I'll put us ALL on the ground!" Tarou glared in fury at Saotome. That moron couldn't possibly mean to follow through with a threat like that. They were hundreds of feet up now - would the idiot really change him back into a human and risk the dangerous fall? It had to be a bluff... "I am not bluffing!" Ranma-chan snarled. Tarou thought irritably. Saotome did sound serious about this. Why that perverted ingrate was so willing to risk dying over someone like Hibiki was beyond him. Still, all he had to do was fly back a bit and drop them off. He certainly didn't intend to hang around and search for a lost piglet while that monster was on the loose. Tarou banked hard and came about, dropping back towards the forest floor. The canopy of greenery was too thick for them to spot the pig-boy or that creature from above, but Tarou could feel the thing's presence. The beast's fear-aura left him jumpy and unsettled. In his cursed form, Pantyhose Tarou was a synthesis of five separate beings, and each animal part kept traces of its own instincts and behavioral patterns. It was very disturbing to have portions of himself wanting to retreat from the terrifying presence they sensed. The sooner he could get out of here, the better he'd feel. But Ranma-chan thwarted his designs yet again. The moment they touched down, the red-headed martial artist splashed Pantyhose Tarou with the hot water in her kettle, transforming him back into a human. Tarou gasped for a moment in disorientation - the radical shift between his monstrous cursed form to his human body could be rather wrenching if he wasn't prepared for it - then whirled on Ranma-chan in rage. He hauled her up by the front of her shirt and cocked a fist menacingly. "What the hell do you think you're doing, fem-boy?" Ranma-chan grinned smugly at the enraged Tarou. "What's it look like I'm doin'?" "Idiot," Tarou hissed. He shoved Saotome away - there was no time to waste beating up that pervert. "There's a river right over there, fool. You can't stop me from leaving." "I wouldn't leave so quick if I were you," Ranma-chan warned. "You're in this mess now. That thing's gonna keep chasin' you no matter where you go." Tarou turned and began to leave. "So? I can take care of myself." "You got into this trouble because you don't know what you're dealin' with!" Ranma-chan said. "If you leave now, you're never gonna find out what that thing is, or how you can beat it." Tarou stopped in his tracks. Fem-boy had a point - he still didn't have a clue about what he was up against. If Saotome was telling the truth, and that thing would hunt him down even if he did leave... that was a problem. That monster was dangerous, and it wouldn't do to remain ignorant about it if the thing was going to continue to oppose him. Right now, Saotome seemed to be the only one who would be able to tell him about the nature of the beast. "All right, cross-dresser," Tarou growled. "But don't expect me to risk my hide to save you or your little piggy. If it comes down to that, I'll take my chances on my own." "Whatever," Ranma-chan said. She turned to Ukyou. "We gotta split up and look for him. Whoever finds him, just start shoutin' and we should all hear. Then we get back together at the river and fly the heck outta here!" Ukyou nodded. "Sounds like a plan, sugar." "Let's go!" - - - - - - For Ryouga, it was the oddest sensation - it was like he was just a passenger in his own body. P-Chan's animal instincts had taken complete control, and the piglet was in a state of utter panic. He charged headlong through the undergrowth at a full sprint, fleeing the terror of the Reikoku with reckless abandon. The rational part of his mind - the part that was still Hibiki Ryouga - could no more control the horrified piglet's body than a man on a boat could control the current of the river beneath him. The situation was pretty hopeless. He knew he was probably just charging around in circles, given his dismal sense of direction. He was going faster than the Reikoku right now, but he was running on panic and adrenaline. Eventually, he'd burn out his reserves and collapse. And then the Reikoku, the ever-patient and unrelenting hunter, would catch up to him. It was an embarrassing way to die. Still, he'd gotten into this by saving Akane's life. On the balance, he knew his death would at least have meaning. He'd have preferred to die as a human being, to go out fighting as a true martial artist... but if an undignified slaughter was the price he'd have to pay for saving Akane, he figured it was worth it. He hoped Ranma survived, too. Ranma probably would. He was the lucky one, after all. Ryouga hoped that Ranma would tell Akane and Akari that he'd died bravely, at least, and not mention that he'd been a pig at the time. He wondered if his ghost would be a pig or a human... P-Chan skidded to a halt at the edge of a sharp drop-off. He'd come to a dead end. Ryouga couldn't tell if he'd been there before or not. The piglet whirled around and searched for another direction to run, but stopped short when he saw the figure in the woods. It was a black, shambling thing, with three burning eyes. The Reikoku had caught up to him. P-Chan trembled in terror, paralyzed with fear and exhausted from his exertions. Ryouga tried to force himself to run, but the piglet was trapped in a cage of his own panic. The chase had been too much for P-Chan's animal mind, and now he was seized up completely, unable to think or act. "There you are!" came a voice from the trees. "Hey, I found him!" The surprise of hearing a familiar voice shook Ryouga from his paralysis. He whirled, squealing urgently, and saw Ukyou standing in the forest about a dozen meters away. The Reikoku was mere seconds away from the black piglet. Ukyou's eyes widened as she saw the monstrosity bearing down on the helpless P-Chan. It didn't look like the poor guy was going to pull himself together in time to get away... Well, Ukyou had come prepared. She knew that there was a chance that she'd have to fight this monster, and it looked like the time had come. She would have preferred to fight to save Ranchan, of course, but she wasn't about to let it kill Ryouga either. She let out a battle cry and leaped towards the creature, hurling a flour bomb ahead of her. P-Chan darted away from the Reikoku an instant before the flour bomb hit. At that moment, Ukyou could have chosen to pick the piglet up and make a break for it. But Ukyou had her pride - she was confident that she could win this battle. She'd heard about how both Akane and Shampoo had been too afraid to fight when they'd been faced with the Reikoku, and this was her chance to prove that she was better than they were. Ukyou charged in with her battle spatula ready to strike through the mist of flour, and the Reikoku nearly took her head off with its first attack. Reflexes alone saved her. The Reikoku's claws made a series of shallow gashes in her shoulder and clipped off a chunk of hair. Ukyou staggered back and frantically blocked the attacks which followed. The creature shambled forward, launching strike after murderous strike towards the unbalanced and desperate martial artist. It was obvious that it had not been even remotely impaired by the flour bomb - it pressed its assault with deadly accuracy and ferocity. "Ucchan!" Ranma-chan skidded to a halt as she arrived on the scene. The sight before her made her heart pound with fear - Ukyou was locked in combat with that damned monster. Even though she was fighting it at its weakest stage, the Reikoku was still a terrible opponent. Ranma-chan knew full well that Ukyou had never faced anything remotely this dangerous in her experience as a martial artist. Pantyhose Tarou ran towards the battle, close on Ranma-chan's heels. "Oh, great," he hissed upon seeing what was going on. "Are you happy now, fem-boy?" "Shut up!" Ranma-chan snapped. "Well come on, you twit!" Tarou snarled. He'd taken two steps towards the battle before he was tackled from behind by Saotome. Tarou twisted and slammed the red-headed girl to the ground, pinning her beneath him. He cocked a fist back, ready to pound Saotome's face in. "Are you INSANE? What the hell do you think..." "We can't help her!" Ranma-chan moaned in a voice full of anguish. "We can't!" "What are you saying?" "If we gang up on that thing, it just gets stronger! She's got the best chance of winning if she fights on her own!" Tarou pulled back and stood, letting Ranma-chan rise to her feet. It was clear to both of them that Ukyou was never going to overcome the Reikoku at this pace. It continued pressing its merciless attack, slashing with razor-keen claws towards the young chef as she frantically dodged and parried with her giant spatula. Ukyou was sweating with exertion, and sported a number of small wounds which were beginning to wear her down. Ryouga watched in helpless fury. It was taking all of his will to keep P-Chan from bolting away again, but he couldn't allow himself to leave while this girl fought his battle for him. He burned with deep shame and anger at this situation, at his own inability to act in the face of this dreadful fate. All he could do was watch. "Ucchan!" Ranma-chan shouted. "You gotta counterattack!" A defensive strategy was hopeless against the Reikoku - it would never let up, never tire, never leave an opening. The only way to win, at least in the first fight, was to press a furious attack into the face of its assault. Ukyou tried to follow Ranma-chan's advice, but she couldn't find an opportunity. She was terrified and hurt, too intimidated by this demon to fight back. Ranma-chan could see that Ukyou was too psyched-out to mount a proper attack. Her only hope was to somehow get her angry, get her to be more aggressive... "Damn it, ya stupid bimbo!" she shouted. "What kinda martial artist are you?" Ucchan gasped in shock and ducked under another swing. Why on earth was Ranchan picking a time like this to start insulting her? "I thought Akane was a slowpoke!" Ranma-chan continued. "What's the matter, Ukyou, can't fight unless you're dressed as a boy?" "Be quiet!" Ukyou screamed. "Is cookin' all you're good for? Is a woman's place really in the kitchen?" "I said SHUT UP!" Ukyou howled. She lashed out with her spatula in rage, catching the Reikoku full in the torso with the flat surface. The monster staggered back a couple of steps. "Get clear!" Ranma-chan shouted. Ukyou didn't need to be told twice. With a little breathing space, she was able to leap backwards away from the Reikoku, putting some distance between herself and the deadly beast. "Now run!" Ranma-chan commanded. She swept up P-Chan and made ready to bolt. "Oh no you don't!" Ukyou snarled in a ragged voice. She had a berserk look in her eyes as she glared at the Reikoku. "Take THIS!" Adrenaline coursedthrough her bloodstream, her mind consumed by the primal instinct to kill. Ukyou had come prepared to fight. She had guessed that she might need something extra in her arsenal if she had to face the monster in battle. When it had been so close, she hadn't had a chance to use the weapons she'd baked in preparation, but now she had room to throw. With deadly precision and speed, she hurled a rapid series of okonomiyaki bombs towards the Reikoku. The lethal confections exploded like sticks of dynamite as they struck home, the reports of each detonation thundering through the forest. The Reikoku pressed forward through the cloud of smoke. "Spatula swarm!" She followed up the okonomiyaki bombs with a spray of small steel throwing spatulas. The keen-edged weapons streaked towards the Reikoku, burying themselves deep in the black-robed figure as they hit home. "Rubber yakisoba attack!" Ukyou howled, lashing out with the string of tough noodles. The durable noodles whipped around the Reikoku's twisted frame, trapping it in a hopeless tangle of tough yellow strands. "Final strike!" Ukyou launched herself into the air, battle spatula raised over her head. She descended and swung the mighty weapon in a perfect arc, seeking to finish the Reikoku with a single blow of immense force. The Reikoku ripped a talon free of the yakisoba prison and caught the spatula mid-strike. It wrenched the weapon free of Ukyou's grip and cast it aside. Ucchan stumbled backwards, gaping in horror as the monster tore effortlessly through the remaining bonds that held it. She was out of bombs, out of tricks. She wasn't even sure if the bombs had damaged the creature at all. Without her weapon, she didn't stand a chance... "Heads up, Ucchan!" Ukyou turned just in time to catch her battle spatula mid-air. Ranma-chan knew she couldn't help directly with the fight, but she was at least able to retrieve Ucchan's spatula for her. "Attack now!" the red-headed martial artist shouted. "Don't hold back!" Ukyou barely dodged away from the Reikoku's next blow. She was in danger of going back on the defensive again, and if she did that, she would be lost. "NO!" Ranma-chan bellowed. "ATTACK!" A scream of rage and horror tore itself free from Ukyou's throat. She launched herself at the Reikoku, heedless of the blow she took that dug into the flesh of her shoulder. She had no more tricks, no more special weapons. She attacked with all her strength and skill, slamming the beast with her great spatula. She howled like an animal as she pressed her assault, calling upon deep reserves of strength that she had not even known she possessed. She attacked again and again with the spatula's deadly edge, cutting deep into the Reikoku's armored hide with each murderous strike. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity of frenzied strikes and primal bloodlust, Ukyou's endurance failed her. She dropped to one knee, all her strength draining away like water through a fissure. Her vision blurred, and she felt as if she were about to faint. She couldn't fight anymore, even if it meant that she would die. She had nothing left. She did not feel the claws of the Reikoku dig into her, as she'd expected she would. Instead, she felt Ranchan's arm around her shoulders, and heard her gentle voice in her ear. "It's okay, Ucchan. You won." Ukyou collapsed in Ranma-chan's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. She trembled and wept, a release from the horror of the battle which she had just fought. Her body was racked with the sobs - they seemed to tear themselves out of her lungs, burning like sandpaper on their way out of her throat. "We have to get moving, fem-boy," Pantyhose Tarou whispered urgently. He didn't like to see a girl cry like that either, but he didn't want to be around when that monster rose again. "Stow it," Ranma-chan snapped. "That thing ain't gettin' up for a whole day, unless you're stupid enough to try to set it on fire or somethin'." Tarou growled something unintelligible, but took a step back and kept his peace. Ranma-chan awkwardly held her friend for a long while, until finally her convulsive sobbing tapered off. She lifted the near-unconscious Ukyou in her arms, then turned to the others with a grave expression on her face. "Okay. Let's go." - - - - - - She hated the way they looked at her now, the way they'd been treating her since Ranma was gone. Everybody was SO polite and SO eager to help her with every little thing, everybody was walking on eggshells around her so as not to say the wrong words. They treated her like... like she was a grieving widow. It's not as if she and Ranma were actually married or anything. And he wasn't dead anyway! What was the big idea? Why did it seem like there was a perpetual cloud of doom hanging over the Tendou family? Ranma would make it. Ranma always won. Akane let out a half-hearted shout and planted her fist into the stack of boards. Her concentration was off, but the wood still split obligingly under the blow. She knew she'd have to concentrate a bit harder when she got to the cinder blocks, but this part of her workout was pretty much reflexive. She sighed and stared at the broken planks for a moment. Working out was the only thing that gave her any degree of solace right now, but even that brought unwelcome thoughts to mind. She wished Ranma were here - he was a terrible sparring partner, never taking her seriously in their practices, but he was better than nothing. Certainly, it WAS good practice trying to hit someone who moved like a dragonfly's shadow. Drilling alone wasn't much of a substitute. She would rather have had Ranma there, barely paying attention to her as she tried to land her punches and kicks, than to be stuck with just dummies and boards. came Ranma's familiar, jeering voice in her mind. she snapped back mentally. Part of her desperately wanted to go after him, though she wasn't certain how she'd actually get to China now. The stubborn, prideful part of Akane chafed at this business of sitting at home and waiting for Ranma to come back. She couldn't stand the way that she'd been bullied into promising that she'd stay out of this fight. She hated the implication that she couldn't handle herself, that she'd just be in the way. She ached to prove them all wrong, as she had done many times before. But part of her knew they were right. All it took was the memory of those three red eyes burning against the field of utter darkness that was the thing's face to remind her of how thoroughly she had been outclassed by that monster. Akane was a pretty fair hand when it came to denial and overconfidence, but seeing the way it had taken Ranma apart in battle had told her all she needed to know about her own chances against the Reikoku. She wasn't good enough. She would just be in the way. A tear trickled down her cheek, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. "Oh Ranma," she whispered. "Please come back to me..." "Did you say something?" came an unexpected voice. Akane pivoted, surprised. She smudged the tear into the general layer of sweat on her face as she turned, not wanting anybody to see her distress. Nabiki stood in the doorway of the Dojo, regarding Akane with her traditional cool and composed expression. At least the middle Tendou daughter had been behaving fairly normally since Ranma had left, unlike everybody else. In fact, Akane could swear that her sister was actually in a good mood about something. "Hi, Nabiki," Akane said. She noticed how her sister was dressed. "You going somewhere?" Nabiki grinned like a girl with a big secret that she's dying to tell. "I'm going to be out for a while, so you can tell anybody who calls that they can reach me at Ucchan's." Akane was nonplussed. "Ucchan's?" Nabiki nodded. "I'm working there. Remember?" "Y... you're working at Ucchan's?" Akane had known that Nabiki had gotten some kind of job, but in her general state of malaise she hadn't bothered to get the specifics. "I told you this, didn't I?" "I..." Akane stammered. "I... I'm not sure. I think maybe... gosh, Nabiki, why are you working for Ukyou now?" Nabiki snorted back a laugh. This was a story she didn't mind telling again. "Oh come now, Akane, who else could she turn to if she wanted her restaurant taken care of properly, hmm? Naturally, she looked to the best businesswoman she knows to manage things while she's away." "Ukyou... she's still away? I thought her vacation ended already." "No, she went after Ranma. You knew this, right?" "No," Akane whispered. "No." Nabiki shrugged, still grinning to herself. "It could NOT be sweeter, little sister. This is the easiest job in the world. Konatsu does all the cooking, all the cleaning, all the serving... all the menial stuff. And he works basically for room and board. The only problem is that he's not equipped to handle certain decisions about running the business. And that's where I come in." "Oh," Akane said in a small voice. "Thirty percent of the profits still go to Ukyou as the owner, and the rest is all mine," Nabiki said with a mercenary gleam in her eye. "All I have to do is make sure the business stays afloat and the books are kept straight. I mean, WHAT could be easier, hmm? And you know what else?" "No, what?" Akane murmured. "I get to use Konatsu!" Nabiki exclaimed. "I get the services of one exceptional ninja, free of charge. He's stealthy, he's a great martial artist, and he's completely obedient. Can you imagine the schemes I can pull off with someone like that at my disposal?" "Yeah. Great." "I'm dying here, Akane!" Nabiki laughed. "This is just too easy!" "Good for you, sis," Akane said in a flat voice. "It sounds great." Nabiki was too absorbed in her own dreams of easy prosperity to really notice her sister's distinct lack of enthusiasm. "Y'know, Ucchan's is a nice little operation right now, but it needs some work. Ukyou's problem is that she doesn't have much vision. We simply must expand the menu a little bit - this specialization thing she does can really limit growth. And it's about time to break into delivery, too. That's where the real money is. Don't you think, Akane?" Akane shrugged. "Whatever you say." Nabiki frowned a bit at her sister, finally noticing that the young martial artist seemed to have gotten herself into a bad mood about something. She was probably brooding about Ranma again. "Uh, anyway, I'm off," she said. "Ranma's supposed to call me sometime tonight, so just tell him I'm at Ucchan's, okay?" Akane bowed her head and said nothing. "Right." An emotional scene with Akane was the last thing she needed right now. "See ya, sis." Akane listened to her sister's footsteps fade to silence as the older girl departed. The details of Nabiki's new employment had hardly registered with her - there was only one thing which had really mattered to Akane in the whole conversation. Ukyou had followed Ranma. Akane deliberately attempted to generate some anger, falling back on familiar lines of thought in her efforts to come to terms with this new development. What did it matter if Ranma spent his time with her? Why did SHE care if those two were off romping around China together? It's not like it was any of her business what he did with his time, or who he was with. It's not like either of them took this absurd engagement business seriously, after all. Akane continued with her routine, piling up the cinder blocks in front of her and trying to convince herself that she didn't care that Ukyou and Ranma were together in China, while she was here alone. Somehow, the arguments felt hollow, even in her own head. Ukyou had followed Ranma. Ukyou had to have known the danger. She must have gotten an explanation of what had happened from somebody... Nabiki, obviously. She'd talked to Nabiki about the restaurant, after all, and Nabiki was the one who knew how to find Ranma right now. Her sister would have told the okonomiyaki chef the whole story, and how dangerous the Reikoku was. And Ukyou had decided to go after Ranma anyway, knowing the peril that awaited her. Well, so what? The girl was nice enough, but it was clear that she was insane. All of Ranma's so-called fiancees had demonstrated that they were certifiable maniacs when it came to trying to impress him. Ukyou probably saw this as a great chance to get her "Ranchan" alone for a while, the scheming little tramp. She was probably too blind and stupid to know how dangerous it was, and had gone skipping off to China in the hopes of having some great romantic adventure. Akane couldn't even convince herself with that line of reasoning. Ukyou had followed Ranma. Ukyou knew the danger, but she was willing to face it anyway to help Ranma. Akane could try to explain it away as stupidity or foolishness or insanity, but in her heart she knew that the trait Ukyou was really demonstrating in her decision to follow Ranma was courage. "Damn it!" she shouted, driving her fist through the cinder blocks in rage. Ukyou had been brave, where she had been cowardly. Ukyou might be killed - that much was certainly true. Staying behind was, without a doubt, the prudent thing to do in this situation. But Akane was not the kind of person for whom prudence was the most compelling motivation. In her heart, she wanted to be a warrior. She wanted to be strong, to face challenges and overcome them with her courage and determination. She'd succeeded often enough in the past... but this time she had failed. This time, when the chips were down, she had folded. "DAMN it!" she howled, shattering another pile of cinder blocks. Ukyou had followed Ranma. Ukyou was stronger than she was. "DAMN IT!" she screamed. This time, her fist drove through the cinderblocks and into the floor of the Dojo. She extracted her hand from the wreckage. She was red-faced and panting, not so much with exertion as with rage and shame. This was simply intolerable. There was no way she would let herself be beaten like this. But she'd promised Ranma that she'd stay here. Well, that was too bad. It had been a stupid promise for her to make, after all. If he thought she would just sit by and let him get himself killed by some demon, he'd better just think again. Yet what could she really do? Ranma's voice said in her mind, she retorted. <'I'm a martial artist too!'> Ranma echoed back, mocking her tone. she announced to herself. Ranma's voice inside her was full of jeering contempt. Ranma's voice answered, Akane sobbed, angry at the voices inside her. The Ranma in her head was a lot worse than the real one - she couldn't hit the one in her mind when she got angry, she just had to listen to his cruel but accurate words. she sobbed. Akane wiped the tears from her eyes, then focused on the large pile of shattered rubble before her. The remains of the cinder blocks she had demolished in her training were scattered across the floor of the Dojo. Ranma's voice echoed in her mind. Akane blinked away the last of her tears. She reached down and scooped up a handful of jagged chunks of cement, sifting them about in her hand thoughtfully. Maybe she wouldn't ever be as fast as he was, but even Ranma admitted that she had muscle. He teased her about it mercilessly, as if it were something of which she should be ashamed, but he didn't deny it. Maybe there was a way she could train herself after all. - - - - - - Ukyou stirred from her place by the fire when she saw Ranma rooting around in the packs. "I can cook," she said. "Really, I'm okay..." "Just sit back," he said. "We'll handle it tonight. You rest." She considered raising another protest, but she really was terribly exhausted. The battle with the Reikoku had been unlike anything she'd ever experienced. She'd spent the last of her physical reserves to overcome it, and now she was weary to the bone. It was a rare moment when Kuonji Ukyou did not feel like cooking, but for tonight she was happy to hand the chore off to somebody else. "Thanks, Ranchan." She smiled weakly. He grinned back. "Yeah, well, we still got a few of Kasumi's leftovers. We can feed you properly tonight, anyway." She remembered something, and worked up enough energy to give him a small shove. "Hey," she grumbled. "What was all that 'a woman's place is in the kitchen' crap?" "He would know, wouldn't he?" Tarou quipped. Ranma ignored him. "Aw, I was just tryin' to get you riled up enough to fight back. You know that, don't you?" She nodded, unable to even pretend to be irritated for long. "Yeah. Thanks, Ranchan. I... I couldn't have won without you." Her friend put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a smile of genuine warmth. "You did good out there today, Ucchan. Real good." Something in her expression seemed to indicate that she didn't really believe this. Ryouga spoke up as well. "I was impressed!" he exclaimed. "I... I owe you one. You really..." "Saved your bacon?" Tarou finished. "Will you shut up?" Ryouga growled back. Tarou smirked, but then his face grew serious as he regarded Ukyou. "I guess I sort of owe you one, too. You... fought skillfully, Miss Ucchan." Ryouga laughed, while Ranma looked a bit annoyed. Ukyou chuckled a little at Tarou's misstep. "That's actually Ranma's nickname for me. My name is Kuonji Ukyou." Ranma got a mischievous gleam in his eye. "That's right! We haven't made the proper introductions here yet, have we? Ucchan, I'd like you to meet the one and only Panty..." Tarou lashed out and belted Ranma in the chin, his face turning red with anger and embarrassment. "Don't you dare, fem-boy!" "What's the matter?" Ranma mocked. "Don'tcha want her to know your name, Pant..." Ranma ducked under Tarou's next swing, only to slammed by the Chinese martial artist's elbow on the back of his head. He pulled back, still grinning with malicious glee. "Aw, now we can't run around with Ucchan not knowin' your name, can we?" he asked with an innocent look on his face. "Come on, let's just get it over with." He turned, partially addressing Ukyou but pretending that he was speaking to a large audience. "Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we are proud to present: Pantyh..." Tarou attacked again, forcing Ranma to dodge and retreat. "Saotome, I swear I'm going to..." "It's okay!" Ukyou called out. "Just cut it out, okay? I already know his name." Ranma looked a bit disappointed, but Tarou looked mortified. Ukyou was too tired to deal with fighting right now. She also knew that everybody was going to have to get along in this little group if they were to have a chance of surviving - she wasn't accustomed to the role of the peacemaker, but somebody was going to have to do it before these guys killed each other. She tried out her best Kasumi imitation and gave Tarou what she hoped was an encouraging smile. "Don't worry," she said soothingly. "It's no big deal." "N... no big deal?" "Yeah! No big deal. You prefer to be called Tarou, right?" The Chinese boy blinked. "Uh... yes. Yes. Tarou." "Right," she nodded, hoping she made it clear that everything was settled. Ranma, however, was obviously going to give it one more shot. "I don't know if that's proper etiquette," he said with artificial concern. "I think maybe we should keep it formal, since you just met and all. You can call him by his full name, which is..." he grinned at Tarou, bracing himself for the next attack. Ukyou summoned enough strength to chuck a small rock at the back of Ranma's head. "Oh knock it off!" she scolded. Tarou tried to compose himself again, but he was clearly moved. Ranma shrugged at Ukyou. "Okay, okay. I get the idea. Come on, let's get some chow goin' here. Yo, Ryouga, you got that fire up to speed?" Re-heating Kasumi's traveling rations didn't take long. The four martial artists ate in relative silence, each absorbed in their own thoughts about the day's events, and what the future might hold. They knew that the Reikoku had not had time to recover yet, and that Tarou had flown them a great enough distance that they should feel secure, but each of them was still nagged by a distinct sense of unease. None of them could dispel the constant awareness that they were being hunted. None of them could truly be at peace. Tarou finally broke the silence, as the meal was drawing to a close. "All right. It's about time you explained to me what's going on here, Saotome." Ranma lowered his head, so his eyes disappeared beneath his dark bangs. He began speaking in a low, ominous tone. "It is a terrible tale... um... a story of blood, death, and... er...unspeakable stuff. The name of the thing that's chasin' us should not be mentioned in the darkness of night, so nasty... uh... so foul is this demonic sucker that we should not speak of it unless..." Ryouga reached out and thumped Ranma on the head. "H... hey!" he snapped, trying to control the chattering of his own teeth. "Quit it with that ghost story stuff!" Ranma punched Ryouga back and looked miffed. "I'm just tryin' to do justice to the mood, okay?" "Well knock it off!" Tarou shook his head, regarding Ranma with contempt. "If you really think you can spook me with that sort of thing, you're even stupider than you look. Or perhaps you're trying to avoid telling me what's going on, so you can keep me around longer?" Ranma made a face like he'd swallowed a goldfish. "No way! The sooner we get rid of you, the better!" Pantyhose Tarou made a small, derisive sound. "Ranchan," Ukyou muttered, "just tell him the story, okay?" She sounded like she was already half asleep. Ranma shrugged. "Okay, okay. Listen, Pantyhose, this is all the old geezer's fault." "THAT doesn't surprise me," Tarou grunted. "Yeah. So that pervert did somethin' to somebody, and they got so ticked off at him that they summoned up this thing, the Reikoku, to chase after him." "He did 'something' to 'somebody?'" Tarou looked incredulous. "That's not very specific, fem-boy." "You think I don't know that? That's why we're chasin' after him! See, he managed to brush this thing off on me, so it ain't after him no more." "How?" "Well, he came along and challenged me, since he knew I'd clean his clock..." Ryouga snorted. "From what I hear, he threw the fight." "What do you know?" Ranma snapped angrily. "Oh please," Tarou laughed. "Don't expect me to believe that you could actually beat Happosai in one-on-one combat." "Well I did!" Ranma shouted. "Now you want me to tell the story, or don't you?" "Fine, fine. Go on." "Right," Ranma continued. "So anyway, I beat up the old pervert, and then he says that makes me Master of the Anything-Goes School. By doin' that, he somehow swung it so the Reikoku started chasin' me rather than him." Tarou scoffed. "And you fell for it, like an amateur. Now you know what it's like to be screwed over by that old bastard, don't you?" "Yeah, well, I ain't gonna let him get away with it," Ranma grumbled. "So what exactly is the Reikoku?" Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. Some kind of big spirit of vengeance thing. The old woman said it was somethin' from the ancient times, or whatever. Anyway, it goes after you once you attack it, so all four of us are gonna be hunted down now." "And how," Tarou asked, leaning forward intently, "do we stop it?" Ranma scratched his head. "We ain't really sure. See, even if you beat it in a fight, it comes back to life after a day. Every time it comes back and fights the same person, it gets stronger... it develops new abilities to exploit your weaknesses and stuff. The old woman said that it can only come back three times against a single person, so if you could beat it four times, you'd destroy it." Tarou looked thoughtful. "A tall order." "Nobody here's been able to beat it twice," Ranma observed. "I wonder if there'd be some way to compensate for its adaptations," Tarou mused. "Perhaps if one were able to adapt as quickly as it does, one might stand a chance..." Ryouga frowned. "Like... maybe I could fight it in a hot springs or something. That way, it couldn't change me!" "Yeah, but what about NEXT time?" Ranma asked. "It'd probably grow an arm that shot Chisuiton at you or somethin' like that." "Chisuiton?" Tarou queried. Ranma shuddered slightly. "It's this water that leaves you stuck permanently in your cursed form." "Where'd you hear about that?" "Musk Dynasty," Ranma answered. "Anyway, even if you did adapt, it still gets stronger and faster and tougher. From what the old ghoul said, it sounds like findin' some way to defeat that thing four times is near to impossible." Tarou paused for a moment, his brow furrowed with concentration. "So," he finally asked, "what exactly IS your plan?" "We gotta find that wrinkled old troll and find out who sent that thing after him," Ranma said. "Then, we go to them and see if there's some way to... I dunno, revoke it or somethin'. Tell 'em they got the wrong people." "And send it after Happosai again?" Tarou asked. Ranma shrugged. "Look, that ain't my style really, but if it's a choice between him and me, I sure as heck ain't gonna take the fall just to save his butt." "But you've already fought it," Tarou observed. "You said that it will pursue anyone who's attacked it, whether they were the intended target or not." "Well there's gotta be some way they can make it stop huntin' us!" Ranma exclaimed. Tarou snorted. "Hmmph. If there was a way, the old geezer would probably have done it. I don't think your plan has much chance of success, fem-boy." "Oh yeah?" Ranma challenged. "You got any bright ideas, Pantyhose?" Tarou glared at his rival, irritated by his insistence on using that abhorrent name. "Maybe I do!" he shot back. "I certainly don't need a female impersonator like you to tell me what to do!" Ranma leaned forward, ready to argue with Tarou, but then he noticed Ukyou. She'd fallen asleep as they'd spoken, and was now curled up by the dwindling campfire with a peaceful expression on her face. Ranma wondered how long she'd sleep like that before the nightmares came. Seeing her at rest and thinking about what she'd been through that day cooled his temper. He sat back in silence, ignoring Tarou. The Chinese boy also turned to look at the sleeping girl. A strange expression crossed his features as he watched Ukyou, the flickering firelight creating a lazy dance of shadows across her body. "Still," he murmured, "it might be best to pool our resources... for the moment." "Yeah," Ranma whispered. "For the moment." - - - - - - Nabiki glanced up from the ledger when she heard the door to Ucchan's open. She was moderately surprised to see who it was that had come to pay a visit. "Good day to you, Elder," Konatsu said in a friendly tone. "Ah, hello child," Cologne said to the pretty young ninja. "And how are you, hmm?" Konatsu bowed deeply. "Very well, Elder. May I have the pleasure of serving you today?" The old woman smiled. "That would be very nice, Konatsu. I believe you know my favorite." Konatsu bowed again, smiling. "Yes, Elder. Though I am an inferior cook compared to Kuonji-san, I shall try my hardest to prepare your okonomiyaki to your satisfaction." "There's a dear," Cologne said absently, hopping over to take a seat. She enjoyed eating here from time to time. Ukyou and Shampoo got along poorly, and Ukyou was technically a rival in the Saotome Ranma fiancee competition, but Cologne had a fondness for the young chef just the same. She also felt a great deal of affection for Konatsu, who was refreshingly sweet and polite. She'd even considered importing some Jusenkyou girl-water for the young ninja, but she wasn't quite sure if that would be the right thing to do in the long run. Konatsu briskly gathered the ingredients together and began to make the old Amazon her meal. Nabiki rolled her eyes. Konatsu really overdid it sometimes with the whole formal bowing-and-scraping routine, but it seemed to go over pretty well with the customers. She rose from her seat and strolled towards the old woman, leaning against the serving counter. "So, what brings you by, granny?" "Oh," Cologne swiveled to face her. "Yes, I just wanted to see how the place is doing under new management." Nabiki grinned confidently. "Better than ever," she asserted. "Isn't that right, Konatsu?" "Of course, Tendou-sama," the ninja agreed. "It's Nabiki," she corrected. If there was one thing she couldn't bear, it was an excess of formality. "Yes... Nabiki-san." The old woman fished into the sleeve of her robe, then pulled forth a folded scrap of paper. Nabiki recognized it immediately, of course - it was one of the fliers she'd sent out all across Nerima. Cologne regarded the flier thoughtfully. "I see you're going into the delivery business," she commented. "That's right." Nabiki crossed her arms and looked smug. "Yes, very good," the old woman murmured. "Will you be making the deliveries, then?" Nabiki laughed out loud. "What, are you joking? Me?" "Oh?" Cologne made a show of looking around. "I see. So who have you hired to make the deliveries, then?" Nabiki brushed a strand of hair back into place. "I haven't hired anyone. I don't have to. Why pay another employee when you can get the job done for free?" "Mmm?" Cologne looked intrigued. "And how have you managed that?" The Tendou girl smiled. "Oh, there are a lot of people who owe me favors around here. I'm letting them pay those favors off by running a few deliveries for me." "I see. That's a very clever plan," Cologne observed, nodding. Nabiki thought she detected just a touch of condescension in the old woman's tone, but she couldn't be sure. "Very clever indeed. I see you're covering a much wider area than we do." "You only have one delivery girl," Nabiki pointed out. "Are you afraid of the competition, granny?" Cologne just smiled to herself. Konatsu set the small okonomiyaki down in front of the old woman, who took a delicate bite. "Mmm. Very nice, Konatsu. Ukyou has taught you well." Konatsu bowed so deep that he almost bent in half. "Thank you very much, Elder Cologne." Nabiki wasn't terribly pleased at the way she'd suddenly been ignored, but refused to let it show. "Yep," she hummed, "I think this place is going to be the number one restaurant in Nerima by the time I'm done with it." Cologne polished off her okonomiyaki, wiped her mouth daintily with a napkin, and hopped off the stool onto her staff. "Here you go," she said to Konatsu, giving the ninja a small handful of coins. "Don't let her take all your tips, dear." "Please come again," Konatsu chimed. Cologne took a couple of hops towards the door on her staff, then pivoted to regard Nabiki again. "I wish you luck, girl." Nabiki gave her a half-lidded look of pure self-satisfaction. "Luck is not a factor when you have good planning." The Amazon matriarch chuckled as she turned to leave. "Nevertheless, I wish it to you. I somehow think you're going to need it." - - - - - - Akane leaned back against a tree and mopped the sweat from her brow. She now wished she'd been there when Cologne had set up the whole ungainly apparatus the time she'd trained Ryouga on the technique, just so she could have seen how the old woman had done it. She suspected that the Amazon had liberally applied Ryouga's superhuman strength. It hadn't just been a matter of lifting the heavy boulder, though certainly that had been a difficult task in and of itself. She'd needed to devise a pulley scheme so she haul the boulder into a swinging position, then release both it and herself when she was ready. Finding a tree that could support the whole operation had also been no mean feat. Still, she'd been able to get the rock dragged up into place and set into the mechanism... with a little help from Mr. Saotome. The panda was collapsed on the turf a couple of meters away, panting from the exertion. They'd had a few missed efforts before they got the whole contraption to work correctly. Akane was winded, but she was proud of her achievement. Besides, the heavy lifting was a kind of training all its own. Now, though, the real training could begin. "Okay!" she announced to the panda. "I'm going up!" Mr. Saotome dragged himself into a sitting position to watch Akane climb into her rope-and-canvas harness. He held up a sign: [Are you sure this is a good idea?] Akane gave him a reassuring smile. "Of course! This'll be no problem, really." Saotome-panda flipped the sign around, where it read: [Isn't there some other training you'd like to do?] Akane shook her head vigorously. "I've given this a lot of thought. This technique works with my strengths. It'll help me build up more muscle and more endurance. Plus, I'll get to do that cool thing where you break rocks." The panda took a long look at the boulder, then turned back and pulled another wooden sign from behind his back. [That's a big rock.] "It's the same thing I've been doing for years, really," Akane assured him. "I'm just trying to do it on a slightly larger scale." Saotome-panda spun the sign. [Slightly?] Akane took another look at the boulder, mentally comparing it to the cinder-blocks she normally pulverized in her workouts. It really was a formidably large piece of stone. She felt a twinge of nervousness, but she willed it away. "Don't worry about it!" she called. The panda sighed. When Akane set her mind to doing something, there was no talking her out of it. He wondered what her father was going to think when he found out about this. He tried to formulate a strategy which would prevent his old friend from learning about his own involvement in this "training." Akane finished strapping herself into the harness, mustering her determination for the task ahead. The bakusai ten-ketsu regimen was one of the most brutal training exercises she'd ever witnessed, but the results had really been amazing. Ryouga had gone from being totally outclassed by Ranma to nearly being able to beat him in a matter of a week. She knew she wasn't quite as strong as Ryouga to begin with, so she guessed that it would take about ten days - with about six repetitions per day - for her to complete the training and master the technique. Once she had the bakusai ten-ketsu under her belt, she was pretty sure she'd have what it took to withstand the Reikoku, at least once. Then, she could go to China, and even Ranma wouldn't be able to argue that she'd be in his way. She had an idea about how to test herself after she'd completed the training, just to be sure of her new strength. she fantasized. He'd probably make fun of her for being a tomboy. Well, she couldn't help that. If she was going to be a tomboy, she might as well be the toughest tomboy in the world. "Okay!" she shouted to Mr. Saotome. "Here I go!" Akane yanked the rope which triggered the release for both the harness and the boulder. She dropped from her starting perch and accelerated into her long swing, finger extended towards the oncoming boulder. It suddenly dawned on her how big that damned rock really was. "Uhhhh..." she moaned as she continued to swing. It occurred to her, with terrifying clarity, that the boulder was not only truly immense, extremely hard, and ponderously heavy, but that it was also moving at an frighteningly dangerous velocity. "Aaaahhh..." she groaned as the boulder loomed larger in her vision. This suddenly didn't seem like a very good idea after all. But there was no way out. She and the boulder were on a collision course, and she was now certain that she was going to get smashed to a pulp when they hit. Panic seized her - she twisted sideways in her harness, trying to cover up her head with her arms, struggling vainly to escape the fate towards which she was inexorably rushing. Akane let out a shriek of abject fear before the boulder slammed into her with devastating force. Everything went black. - - - - - - "//EEEK! Panty thief!//" Ranma didn't know much Chinese yet, but he recognized what those words meant. "This way!" he shouted to the other three martial artists. "We got him now!" The group of young fighters sprinted down the crowded Chinese street, weaving their way through the throng of people towards the cries. None of them had caught sight of their quarry yet, but the disturbance he was making was hard to miss. "He's not getting away this time!" Ryouga vowed. Ranma jumped up to a street lamp and dangled for a second, analyzing the surroundings. "You two!" he gestured to Tarou and Ukyou. "Split up down there," he pointed at a side street, then towards another one, "and there! You can cut him off if you hurry!" "Okay, Ranchan!" Ukyou shouted, then took off down one of the streets. "Don't screw this up, fem-boy," Tarou warned. "We may not get another chance." He raced away from the other two martial artists. "Let's go, Ryouga!" Ranma leaped down and took up the chase again. "Right!" Ryouga followed close on Ranma's heels, matching his companion's moves as they tore through the crowd. He knew better than to let himself get lost in a place like this, especially with so much at stake. The two boys drew closer to the outraged shouts of Chinese women and girls. They pulled up short in front of the entrance to a winding corridor between the rows of buildings, less crowded than the main thoroughfare. They heard an indignant shriek from down the narrow side street. "This way! Pantyhose ought to have him cornered!" Ranma and Ryouga charged down the poorly-paved little street, vaulting obstacles and dodging pedestrians in their pursuit. They turned a corner and came upon Pantyhose Tarou so abruptly that they both bowled into him, knocking him flat. All three of them scrambled to their feet. "What's the matter with you?" Tarou snarled. "Where'd he go?" Ranma shouted. "He came this way!" "What are you talking about?" Tarou snapped. "He's not here!" "You didn't see him?" Ranma looked around desperately. "I'm telling you, he didn't come this way..." The three of them heard a squeal of shock and rage emerge from further down the alleyway, past Tarou. Someone was shouting that their underwear had been stolen from their clothesline. Ryouga glared at Tarou. "Didn't come this way, huh?" The Chinese boy flushed with anger and shame. "I don't know how he got past me! There's no way..." "Come on!" The three of them pounded down the twisting path, which eventually doubled back on itself and led out to the main thoroughfare. The martial artists followed the shouts of angry women once more, charging ever closer to their quarry. "//There he goes!//" an old woman called in a shrill voice. The martial artists turned towards that direction, only to see a figure dressed in black hop down an alleyway. The person in question was carrying a large bag which looked to be stuffed with garments... but it was quite a bit taller and thinner than the person they'd been expecting to see. "That... wasn't Happosai?" Ryouga couldn't believe his eyes. "Another panty thief?" Ranma gasped. "That little..." Tarou took off towards the alleyway. A loud noise echoed through the narrow passage. It was the distinctive sound of an extremely large spatula making contact, at speed, with a human form. The three martial artists rounded the corner into a plume of women's underwear, drifting through the air in dozens of soft, erratic parabolas. Ukyou stood at the center, her spatula raised high and a questioning look on her face. A figure squatted at her feet with its arms wrapped around its head, moaning in pain. Ukyou stepped back. "Hey... this isn't Happosai. What gives?" "That's what I want to know!" Ranma barked. The martial artists arranged themselves around the unidentified panty thief, blocking off every possible escape route. The panty thief they'd trapped was probably a teenager, though he had the sort of sullen and gaunt face that defied one's ability to predict his age. He had large round eyes and was built like a bundle of pipe cleaners. He scrambled to his feet and adopted a defensive stance, glaring at those who surrounded him with contempt and menace. "So," he hissed (in Japanese, fortunately), "you dare to interfere with Si Migou, master of combat and the art of thievery?" Ranma rolled his eyes. "Yeah, stupid. We do." The thief let out a quiet, evil chuckle. "Very well, then. You leave me no choice but to invoke my Ultimate Defensive Technique!" Ranma braced himself, and the others did the same. It was entirely possible that they were dealing with a very dangerous individual here, and it didn't pay to underestimate him. However, Ranma knew how these things worked, and he figured there was a good chance that this Si Migou was actually... "Oh PLEASE don't hurt me!" Si Migou dropped to his knees and wailed piteously. "Spare me, spare me, have mercy! Aaaagh!" ... a complete loser. Ukyou shook her head in disgust. "This is an Ultimate Defensive Technique? It reminds me of something your dad would come up with, Ranchan." "Yeah," Ryouga agreed. "You sure he isn't stealing one of your special Saotome School secrets?" The Chinese panty thief immediately stopped groveling and looked up at Ranma with an expression of total awe. "Sao... Saotome? You're THE Saotome Ranma?" Ranma blinked in surprise. How had this guy heard of him? Well, he had done some pretty amazing things - he guessed word of his achievements had started to spread in the martial arts community. He unconsciously adopted a smug pose. "Yep, that's me." "I can't believe it!" Si Migou chimed happily. "I actually get to meet you! The Champion of all Drag Queens!" "Wha..." Ranma's jaw dropped. The others began to snicker with varying degrees of intensity. "Ah, how fondly the Master spoke of you," the young thief said dreamily. "He told me of how you mastered the ultimate technique of cross-dressing, just so you could pose for him in the finest articles of silky clothing from his treasured collection..." "Why you little...!" Ranma snarled, advancing menacingly on the Chinese boy. "Don't hurts us!" the thief squealed, immediately dropping back into his groveling stance. "Not nice, mustn't hurts us! No, no, we can't stands pain, no..." Ranma backed off, utterly disgusted by the craven display. How could you hit someone like that? It was pitiful. "The Master?" Ryouga said, frowning. "Does he mean Happosai? Hey, you, is Happosai your Master?" The thief continued to crawl around on the ground, whimpering and whispering to himself. Ryouga glared and took another step towards the cowering boy. "Hey! Answer me, you little rodent!" "Stop scaring him," Ukyou said. "You're not going to get anything out of him by threatening him like that, Ryouga..." "Ryouga?" Si Migou popped up like a cork, his face and voice full of rapt admiration. "Hibiki Ryouga? Is it really you?" "Uh..." "Oh, how amazing!" the youngster sang, dancing around with joy. "To think that I managed to meet the guy who developed the ultimate disguise technique, allowing him to sneak into the bedrooms of women at night and crawl into the sheets with..." "SHUT UP!" Ryouga bellowed, drawing a fist back to pound the Chinese boy. "Nice martial artists! Don't hurts us!" The lad was back on the ground in a flash, crawling around on his belly and wriggling like a worm. "Mustn't hurts us, no, no. Tells them what they wants to hear, won't we precious? Yes, yes, we shall tell them, but they mustn't hurts us..." "Why are you talking like that?" Ryouga growled in rage, but he couldn't bring himself to strike the pathetic creature before him. There really was something to this so-called technique. "So Happosai is your master, then?" Ranma yelled. "Yes, yes," the boy hissed. "Master he is, yes. Came to us, yes he did, showed us... many, many interesting things. Said he was taking students, didn't he precious? Yes, said that he would choose the one who stole nice, silky precious panties for him as his disciple..." "Wait a minute!" Ranma snapped. "How can he be doin' that? I'm the Master of Anything-Goes Martial Arts now!" "Anything-Goes?" Si Migou repeated in confusion, pulling once more out of his groveling act. "No, the Master teaches an ancient style called Free-For-All Martial Arts." Ranma gaped, so outraged for a moment that he couldn't actually speak. Pantyhose Tarou let out a bark of contemptuous laughter. "Oh, that's rich," Tarou sneered. "Why not let you have the old school, fem-boy, when he can just go off and start up another one? I have to hand it to the old goat, he really managed to shaft you coming and going..." "Shut UP, Pantyhose!" Ranma shouted. "P... Pantyhose?" the young thief turned to face Tarou, his voice filled with sheer reverence. "You're really the one who worked so hard to please the Master that you were awarded a name that would befit a pervert of your stature..." "How DARE you!" Tarou advanced, his face flushed with anger. "DON'T HURTS US!" the boy squealed, dropping once more to his hands and knees. "Nice martial artists! Don't hurts us precious, we didn't MEAN to make them mad, did we? No precious, no!" He moaned and whimpered piteously, pawing at Tarou's feet in a truly pathetic fashion. Tarou's fists trembled, but even he couldn't force himself to pound on this wretched creature before him. All he could bring himself to do was to shove the thief away with his foot. Si Migou tumbled away, skittering about on the ground like an insect and making a low, guttural noise from deep in his throat. "This is really revolting," Tarou snarled. "Um..." Ukyou spoke hesitantly. "You, uh... you haven't heard of me, have you? Kuonji Ukyou?" Si Migou padded about in a circle, making his throaty noise, then squatted like a frog before them. "No, hasn't heard of it. We doesn't remember that name." Ukyou sighed with relief. "Well, okay. Great." "I still want to smash his head in," Ryouga growled, seething in rage. The other boys seemed to feel the same way. The thief covered up his head and began to wail like a baby. "Oh, come on guys," Ukyou placated. "He can't help it if the old guy told him a bunch of lies, right?" "Yes, nice martial artists!" Si Migou whined. "We can't helps it, can we precious?" "Look," Ukyou addressed him in a gentle voice. "Do you know where Happosai is? We need to find him..." "Doesn't knows, does we precious? No, we doesn't. Master said he was traveling, yes traveling all around China, looking for disciples. Yes, that's what he said, remembers it, we does." Ukyou sighed. "This is a problem." "Yeah," Ranma agreed. "If that old goat's been runnin' around recruitin' other panty thieves, then we..." "...We've been chasing shadows this whole time!" Ryouga finished, his voice full of dismay. "How are we ever going to find him at this rate?" "Feh," Tarou spat. "You give up too easily. I'll think of a way to track that damned troll down, since you two," he addressed Ryouga and Ranma, "seem incapable of it. He won't escape me." "Yeah, whatever," Ranma said in an unimpressed voice. He was already getting tired of listening to Pantyhose blather on about how smart he was all the time. "Let's get out of here." "Then they'll lets us go, the nice martial artists?" Si Migou pleaded hopefully. "Just stop stealin' underwear, or we're gonna come back and pound you into a fine paste, okay?" Ranma threatened. "Nice martial artists! Precious will do as they says, very nice, very sensible..." "Oh, shut up." The four of them turned and walked away down the alley. They were almost around the corner and back onto the main thoroughfare when they heard Si Migou calling out from behind them. "Kuonji Ukyou?" he yelled. "You're THE Kuonji Ukyou?" The four of them pivoted slowly. Ukyou's face was full of dread. "I remember now!" The boy was beaming with positively rapturous delight and awe. "You're one of the Saotome love slaves!" "Wha... what did you say?" "You're the cook, right? The one whose body gets so hot that she can actually cook on herself?" Si Migou's eyes sparkled. "The master told me how you writhe on the griddle, pouring hot oil across your heaving bosom, until you're ready to smear sauce across your naked..." Ryouga took one glance at Ukyou, had a split-second's worth of visualization, and then passed out with twin fountains of blood streaming from his nose. Pantyhose Tarou doubled over, coughing so hard that it sounded like he was going to hack up a lung. Ranma desperately and vainly tried to hold back Ukyou, who was charging down the alley with a truly homicidal look on her face. "Stop it, Ucchan!" "DON'T HURTS US, PRECIOUS!" "I'll show you PRECIOUS, you little PERVERT!" >CLANG!< >CLANG!< >CLANG!< "AAAAAGGGHH!!" end of chapter four ----------------------------------------------------------- AUTHOR'S NOTES ----------------------------------------------------------- A little nod there to the finest groveler in all of literature. COMING SOON: Tensions rise between the traveling companions - how long can they keep the peace amongst themselves? Akane is desperate to learn the bakusai ten-ketsu, but can she really survive the training? And Nabiki learns that some things are not as easy as they might seem... COPYRIGHT STUFF: All the Ranma characters belong to Takahashi Rumiko, and are licensed in America by Viz Communications. REVISION NOTES: A few continuity fixes. This chapter has been a favorite many fans who've written me. Kind of scary to think that I wrote this BEFORE any of the Lord of the Rings movies were released. GRT - July 1998 MODIFIED - April 2005 thunderstruck_comic@comcast.net All existing chapters of this story may be found at: http://www.talesfromthevault.com/relentless